Just Don’t Do it. Why I don’t charge per word and you shouldn’t pay.
There’s a whole lot of media hype everywhere over recent attempts to resuscitate the Sex & the City franchise, this time without the participation (and I suspect without the blessing) of the marvelous British-Canadian actress Kim Cattrall. If that can be believed. Her recent turn on Who Do You Think You Are? has made me love her even more. I don’t think I’ll be tuning in to the new Sex episodes, not least because I’m entirely #TeamSamantha. When we last met up with the girls, the franchise was already on life support, I was deeply skeptical of the skewered worldbuilding, of Carried-away, shoe-filled closets of Jimmy Choo this, Laboutin that, and access to prime New York real estate without a satisfactory backstory on the financing. And yes, I’m still hung up on the whole $4 per minute business with Vogue in season four, during which (in case you missed it), Carrie suddenly found herself making $4 per hour while writing for Vogue. As a freelancer. But I’m getting away with myself.
Let me start by expressing empathy. I empathize with anyone out there trying to find a copywriter who you can pay by the word. Yeah, it makes sense, doesn’t it? I certainly can’t blame you for wanting the best product or service that you can find for the fairest (read bargain) price. The past eighteen months have been hard for all of us and even as we begin to recover, and work through the memories of hard times left behind, we’re hopefully leaving the C-word behind too (that’s what I’m calling it and all its variants from now on an I stand by that decision). it’s going to be a while before I can allow myself to so much as conjugate the N-word (normal) into a sentence except from the safety and comfort of a therapist’s couch. So, I get it, and I don’t blame you for calling me while shopping around to inquire about my hourly (KYD150.00) day (KYD650.00) rates and price per word (doesn’t exist, never will, stop asking). If a caller is persistent, pushing or I don’t want the gig and want off the call I’ll probably just double that number and click, dial-tone and buh-bye. But I will never under any circumstances quote you a price per word. Even if I was tempted to do a Carrie Bradshaw. Let me explain. Firstly. As I said above, I’m totally and forever team Samantha Jones. I also don’t write or edit or proofread per word and I don’t care if the project is a rewrite of War & Peace. Some of the worst copy I’ve ever had the supreme pleasure (and excellent pay) came with requests to review, revise, report on and rewrite another party’s material that was generated at a cost per word. I imagine the client thought they’d gone to heaven, recalling Carrie Bradshaw’ $4 per word at Vogue, especially when they negotiated it down a dollar and 25%. Still a lot of money, in my opinion and especially when you consider the quality of the work that you might end up with.
There’s also the extreme (in the other direction), when you’ve paid $75 for a thousand-word blog, post or article and cut and pasted the product without so much as proofreading, to find that it did absolutely no good. Nobody read it. Nobody shared it. Nobody picked up the phone and called or sent a sales querying email. It might have caused a seven-day spike in search traffic but little else. The browsing public did what most of us do and clicked to exit that window. In cases like this, what you get is copy and content that’s so bad it would require a total rewrite by someone like yours truly to qualify it as mediocre. And still, you get a little indignant and ask how I could dare to quote you $750 when you only just paid one-tenth that for the original document. Remember an indignant Eliza Doolittle negotiating with Henry Higgins? He couldn’t expect to be paid as much to teach in her own language as her lady friend paid a real French gentleman!
I was a little upset that day when my final report arrived before graduation from year eight at the Cayman Prep & High school. In that document, Mrs. Turner said of my performance in English class that I tended towards using ten words when one might do. I had a flair for the dramatic even at 14, and this sent me to bed with a fit of the vapours until consolation came from the following September’s English tutor to not take any of this overly seriously because it was explained to me that Mrs. Turner was from Hartlepool. I didn’t understand the slur, only that this tutor was confident that I could improve (although I would like to say for the record that I love everything about County Durham, especially Hartlepool). Mrs. Turner was also right. as I edit and cut from the third draft of this very document, I note that it is now half the length and word-count as when I started (and could still use another round of judicious editing). So, imagine if I was getting paid for this document, and the amount was based on its final word count, not the clarity of the finished product, hours of proofreading and editing and the many years of study, development, experience, self-improvement and two decades of suffering for my Art. Time effort went into improving. I told you I have a flair for the dramatic. Here’s another example.
Just do it.
Can you imagine if Dan Wieden was paid for the three words instead of the intellectual capital that brought him to a time and place that would allow him to pitch Nike with just three words? That motto would become a slogan, and then a credo, and evolve into a movement for Nike. All because the Wieden + Kennedy partner had his index finger on the pulse of the popular culture, and a deep understanding of that moment in economics and consumer history. He took education, experience instinct, and a soupcon of connoisseurship to come up with those three words. If I could be allowed to compute his wages at Bradshaw’s going rate at the top of her game, the invoice would be $12. Yeah, it would be a farce, so please just don’t do it. Paying per word will discourage everyone involved from being succinct. There’s nothing wrong with brevity, but some of the best text I come up with comes when I allow myself to write freely, then edit it down with a red pen. In which case, how am I going to get paid for, expertise, time, early drafts, meetings, or any of the other preparation that might have gone into your final draft? Copy and content are disciplines that require a certain level of trial and error. And practice. For example, if you’re reading this document, I bet you didn’t even notice that absolutely all of the SEO keyboards required to meet my target have been inserted above in such a way that you probably haven’t even noticed. And, if you’re thinking of scrolling to the top to look for them, I bet we’re in the same line of work. So yes, you could end up paying anywhere from $4 to $2000 (or higher if the agency has prime real estate) for some of the worst content and copy ever.
When a client pays per word or the writer charges using that model, it might sound like the ultimate marriage of thrift and efficiency. But how can a copywriter be expected to prepare to write your content without taking into account the research, knowledge or background? How can you expect my best when I haven’t been allowed even cursory knowledge of a given field, industry, and market?
